A sandwich just isn’t a sandwich… Brain Dripping

A bunch of years ago I started working full time and had a “Lunch Hour” (Well, 45 minutes, but’s another story). I tried the office cafeteria but was put off by the “$5.00 hamburger & a Coke” platter not to mention the 15 minute bread line that piled up since the entire building took lunch at the same time. I needed an alternative! I drove to the closest sandwich shop (Subway) and got a $4.50 “Sub & a Coke” but lost 30 of my 45 min tues in the acquisition which wasn’t worth the .50. I needed another alternative!

Enter the $2.50 Brown Bag Lunch!

I started brown-bagging it and never looked back. I quickly developed a formula for packing my lunch every morning – and it had to be in the morning or I’d forget the bag sitting in the refrigerator. The formula satisfied all of the major taste requirements and was this simple: Just remember The Four S’s!

  1. Sandwich – A standard Oscar Meyer (lite) bologna& mustard sandwich. This is the most important (and substantial) part of the lunch and almost NEVER varied. ($1.50 including cheese) See more below.
  2. Saltie – Fulfilling the need for something crunchy and saltie a pack of crackers (Keebler or Lance) or one of those “snack pack” sized bags of chips/doritos/gold-fish did the trick. ($0.25)
  3. Sweet – Ending the lunch munch would be something sweet. Often a banana, box of raisins, apple or single-serve apple-sauce pack. Of course sometimes I would splurge and have an nutragrain-bar, quaker-chewy-granola-bar, oatmeal-cream-pie or star-crunch. ($0.50)
  4. Soda – Diet Mt. Dew & Diet Sierra Mist were the most common just because Pepsi products were on sale more often than Coke’s products. If I could get it I enjoyed Diet Minute Made or Lipton Tea. My rule: Never pay more than $3.50 for a dozen cans. Once in a great while I would catch a 12 pack of Snapple on sale for around .50 a bottle and would grab a pack. ($0.25)
  5. I later added an extra “S” when I had to work past 7:00 I would have a Snack – This would invariably be a piece of fruit.

But back to the sandwich… here’s the PERFECT sandwich:

1 Slice of Bread
Cheese Slice
Bologna slice
Cheese Slice
Bologna slice
1 Mustard
1 Slice of Bread
Butter-top wheat or “Italian” style
Cheap “American” cheese-food
Oscar Mayer beef bologna rocks!
More calcium!
Louis Rich turkey ‘logna is good too
Whatever mustard is on sale!
They call this the “heel”

The table at the right is the actual “Nutrition Information” for the above Perfect Sandwich. My secret to remaining slim is cutting corners on the “perfect” sandwich. There’s too much sodium & fat in the regular bologna so I used the “Lite” or turkey variants for half the sat-fat. Cutting back to one (or zero) slices of cheese is another good way to cut calories but it’s about the only way I get calcium, so I’ll include one slice on most sandwiches. The mustard is on the bottom so to make sure it gets tasted by the tongue. Can’t forget the ‘bitter’ taste buds in the perfect lunch, ya know! The mustard, along with the cheese on the top forces the sandwich to stick together. The interior slices adhere with good old surface tension. Ah, it’s all so PERFECT!

Note: Never use Mayo! I’ve heard it is evil.

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 sandwich
Servings Per Container 1

Amount Per Serving


Calories from Fat280

% Daily Value**

Total Fat 26.5g40%

Saturated Fat 13g48%

Cholesterol 70mg24%

Sodium 1405mg59%

Total Carbs 30g11%

Dietary Fiber 2g8%

Sugars 4g 

Protein 13g12%

Vitamin A8%






Folic Acid10%

**Percent Daily Values are based
on a 2,000 calorie diet.

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