Author Archives: Ericles

About Ericles

Born in the wild lands of Pennsylvania post WWII, Eric managed to survive by eating mostly tomato sauce covered simple carbohydrates. He eventually moved to New Jersey to join with the Shor'ites in their constant war with the Bennies. He now lives with his wife, daughter and cats in a small cave somewhere in Cliffwood Beach subsisting on dew that he can lick off of the grass and tomato sauce covered simple carbohydrates.

More Mailbox Mayhem Eric Dalton

It has been a while since I shared the contents of my “Other Eric Dalton’s” spam folder. Much of it really isn’t spam and the past few weeks has seen a few real gems. Names, excepting mine, have been changed to protect the errant!

Of course, I continue to get invoices and quotes intended for E.D. of South Africa. Everything from industrial vacuums to boxes of paper to… Grease Nipples!

My namesake in Minneapolis is invited annually to a CBS Sports March Madness pool. As best I can tell… he has never won the pool… possibly because it is my address getting the invite? Phoenix Arizona E.D. was busy too… with a different kind of pool. He got a quote from North Star Pools for cleaning out and repairing his swimming pool. He’s one of the worst for giving my address to marketers.  It is nice to finally pinpoint a location. Now that I have his address I’ll send him a post card when I’m visiting.  Over the years he is probably responsible for:
North Star Pools (March 2017)
Desert Schools Federal Credit Union (March 2017)
P.F. Chang’s (February 2017)
Hughes Federal Credit Union (October 2015)
PetSmart (March 2015)
University of Phoenix (April Fools 2011)

But my FAVORITE of the week was this gem from my friends in Virginia:

I have no words to describe my feelings about this email. Until next time, stay classy!

Not just rich… Beanie Rich! BabyNews

I was recently mindlessly browsing the Facebook and a post caught my eye with an idiotic title suggesting that “if you have one of these 11 beanie babies I can retire now”. I must have been avoiding doing actual work because I clicked through and crunched the numbers. If I had all of them and could sell them at the prices the inflated prices and EBay/Amazon didn’t take their cut… I would have only 150 thousand dollars and couldn’t possibly retire. Sounds like a Pump-and-Dump scam to me. But it got me to thinking…. so I brought out my Beanie Baby collection. Yeah, I have a whole collection! Back in the late 90s when they were all the rage I noticed the pattern that if they had “hard parts” like pincers, beaks, horns, etc, they were not collected as aggressively so they became rare. This collection method seems to have worked as my paltry beanie-stash contained 2 of the 11 on the list. Hooray! Good thing Allison wasn’t too interested in them the last time I brought them out.

So, can I retire for a month or two at least? The two should fetch $3500. Let us check the Electronical Bay of Auctions to see for what price they are actually selling:
Mystic the Unicorn (with the Iridescent Horn & Yarn Mane) goes for $5.00 NOT $1,000. Oh well.
Claude the Crab (with the “error” on the hang-tag) goes for $4.00 NOT $2,500. Dad Gummit.

So, no I can’t retire or even pay for my Fat Tuesday meal tonight at Popeye’s. The BBs were only a few bucks each back in the day so I’m just give them to my daughter. Any she doesn’t want can go into a Beanie Baby geocache. That way I get a few smiles out of it … and hyperbole spewing bloggers and the EBay listings that feed on them don’t get a cent. Yeah, Babies!

Pain in the Brain 2016 News

Question: What rhymes with couch and hurts like hell? Answer: OUCH.

I’m a few months late in writing this but BLTN as they post. Only two years after my 2014 cluster headache cycle I started a new one in 2016. This time around I fully documented every headache in an online calendar log. I started with the Auras in early May and by the end of the month was having at least a minor episode nearly every day. The onset of the cycle was likely expedited by the pressure/sleep and stress changes involved in a trip out west. This cycle was a little strange in that they headaches skipped tuesdays for the first month and then were not as long or as painful as I expected. Unfortunately by late July I was having them every day. August saw many days with multiple occurrences and a few dreaded waking eye-graines. The pain continued into September and faded out over about four weeks into early October. So May through October with 2 and a half months at full blast. This was a few weeks longer than the previous cycle and very painful. Since I started really documenting these each cycle has been longer. This is not a sustainable happiness model.

The good news is that these are now mainstream. Google has special results for when you search for them. They are considered Common and the pharmaceutical industry is standing by ready and willing to push me into a heroin addiction whenever I’m ready to offer up a co-pay. They may be willing to substitute a cancer causing steroid. Hooray! Ok, so yeah, the bad news is that nobody has figured out what the deal is with these as of yet but mainstream awareness just may prove useful. Can an awareness ribbon be far behind? We’ll have to pick a color. I recommend something dark that doesn’t strobe and kick off a headache for anyone actively in a cluster cycle.

Some links that give me hope:

  • Clusterbusters.org – Somewhat new website that offers something of a support group and has info on clinical trials. I joined the patient registry and will be following them closely.
  • Clusters are now well documented in the International Classifications for Headache Disorders… so where is our Awareness Ribbon already?!
  • The disorder now has its very own ICD9 code. Once insurance companies recognize a disorder proactive pharma/nutraceuticals soon follow. Money talks!
  • The top 5 links under Cluster Headache all seem to have been updated in the last year.

Until some solid science comes up with a preventative I’ll just keep stomping up and down the steps and doing pushups at the first hint of an aura. Adrenaline still works for me which is a blessing. I will leave you with a fun quote:

Experts have suggested that cluster headache may be the most painful condition known to medical science.

Well, at least I don’t have THAT kind of cluster headache! [attribution]

Yet another day in the life… BabyBrain DrippingGeocachingNews

Every two years or so I get the notion to journal my day. This time around I picked my birthday. Not for any special reason but just because it seemed like it might be a full day. It was! I then forgot about actually posting the entry for nearly 2 months. Better late than never! Without further palaver, this was my day:

06:18  A full 12 minutes before the “first” alarm I’m up and heading for the shower where I will hopefully wake up before I start driving anywhere. Sleep driving is never advisable.
07:15  Allison is awake. She’s very excited that we’re going to go see her Meemaa in “ONLY TWO DAYS!?!”
07:40  Pizza. It’s what’s for breakfast. Nice home-made stuff prepared by Heather and Allison the night before. Yummers!
07:45  Out the door and pulling out of the driveway. Allison waves good-bye and blows kisses as she does pretty much every morning. “Bye Dad! I love you one hundred million years!” I blow a kiss back. She eats it. “OM!” Then I toss one “for Mommy”. Allison pretends to jump up and intercept it. “OM!” You read that right. We eat our kisses. Yummers!
Flowerbee08:15  I’m parked in the last lot at Durand Park in northern Freehold attempting to be the first one to find the new “Float like a butterfly…” mystery cache. A few minutes later I had the cache in hand. Very cute. FTF! I complete a loop of the walking path and then head off to the office.
09:00  I make it into the office right on time only to find I had no reason to rush. No fires to put out this morning. A perfect birthday gift!
10:30  I just spent the morning coding a new automatic process that will update the status of “child” work-orders when the “parent” work-order is updated. When I go to test it I see a checkbox right there on the screen saying “Update Children”. Did nobody ever notice this before asking me to make a “behavior modification” to the program? Fortunately the option “does nothing” so my changes were actually needed. Yeah, my job is exciting!
11:00  When signing into the website, some customers aren’t able to see their bills that were generated last night. Turns out there was an internet outage that took down the interfaces last night. Craziness! What is crazier is actually getting bent out of shape because you can’t immediately sign in and view your bill hours before it even makes it into the mail.
12:00  An email from my brother: “Haha You’re old!!! Happy birthday, treat yourself to a hip replacement!!!”. I reply with a promise to use my new hip to kick his ass the next time I see him.
12:30  My program changes are working. Time for my PB&J sandwich then a half-hour lunch-walk around the pond to scare the frogs.

Watersnake

13:00  Frogs go splash as I walk along the edge of the pond. Some frogs are taking flight where I am not… then I notice the water-snake moving along the bank. It is pretty scary to a frog too I suppose. I also spot some Sun-Fish and a mockingbird looking at me mockingly.
14:00  Everyone in the office is pretty busy this week. One co-worker has put up a sign across her door-way saying “Please Do No Disturb”. If only the door-way had an actual DOOR she’d be able to get some work done.
14:30  I’m informed my Mentee went home early today and will not be attending the Graduation this afternoon. This is part of “Project Venture” a collaboration with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Monmouth & Ocean Counties of which I’m a mentor. My mentee is a great kid but has a poor attendance record.
15:00  I pop by the graduation anyway. Hey, free pizza and snacks are not something to be spurned! A half hour later the official ceremony is over so they break out the pizza. I wait for the ravening hoard of middle-school students to get their slice on then get in line just in time to have a choice between “White” and “Stuff we swept up off of the floor” topped pizza. I choose the white and miss the red sauce. Man those kids can eat!
16:00  “Small World” moment: One of the BBBS coordinators has looked familiar to me since I started the program back in September. I finally take the time to chat her up and figure out that we probably have met before. Turns out they have a branch office at the same church where I used to drop off non-perishables for a food-pantry. Neat coincidence.
17:45  I have left the office and I’m heading to Tatum Park where I will meet up with the family for a short hike in the woods to replace one of my geocaches that had been vandalized.
18:00  I’m listening to an Audio Book version of “All Creatures Great and Small” by James Herriot. Funny stuff. Much lighter than my last book which was “Of Mice and Men” by John Steinbeck. “Tell me about the rabbits again George!”.
1My little Buttercup8:15  Hiking in the woods with the family! Allison picks every flower she sees and gives it to one of us. I show her a game from my childhood where you hold a Buttercup under your chin. If your chin turns yellow… you like BUTTER! This amuses Allison to no end – especially when it turns out that Heather, the lactose intolerant member of our party, is incongruously a big butter-fan.
19:15  Back to the cars, Allison decides she wants to ride home “with Daddy”. I treat her to some James Herriot who is relating an amusing anecdote about the time the pigs got out and ran down town. She sometimes likes the “Grown-up stories” I listen to. Separated into bite-sized chapters this one is a good fit.
20:00  Munching Cheddar Bacon Burritos as the Birthday Dinner. Yes, they are yummers. 
20:30  My mother-in-law pops by to hand me a B-Day card (Thanks!) and asks if I had seen the Chewbacca Mom video yet. We pull it up and it is indeed very funny. Her laugh is contagious! Allison also thinks the lady is giggle-worthy. We then watch Star Wars Wookie clips instead of reading a bedtime book. YouTube Parenting!
Horseback 7 year old Eric21:00 Allison’s Bedtime story features Chewbacca who accidentally ends up crashing his spaceship in Cliffwood Beach, NJ and is then tormented by a butterfly that keeps landing on his nose. Eventually he re-wires the Dalton family cars into a new spaceship & rockets away. As he settles in for a nap the butterfly lands on his nose again & flutters in the snoring Wookie wind.
22:00 Time for some Throw Back Thursday action pulled from the old slides I had developed for my birthday present from Heather. Horse. Heh.
23:00 Tired of fighting with GSAK trying to set up way-point filters for the trip I think I will instead turn in for the night. I had a good day. Here’s to another year!

Pain in the Brain 2014 Health/Fitness

Just a quick note to document my cluster cycle this year. They started early – March maybe. Very slow burn-in this time with a few false starts and aura-only episodes. They went full-blown at the very end of May and lasted until the end of August. The final one was in the middle of the night. Around 3 months of this is a LONG cycle. I was able to short-circuit most of them before they got a grip on me by burning up my legs on the stairs at the office. I added push-ups and tension-hanging but couldn’t do much else without buying a membership at the “office gym”. I’ve wondered before if just letting the headaches “run their course” doesn’t shorten the cycle but I’m not willing to do that when a quick hit of adrenalin pops them like a bubble. I wouldn’t say I learned much new in this cycle. Knocking off sulfates doesn’t seem to do much in terms of preventing or shortening the cycle. Sleep cycles were definitely out of whack and stress was high this summer so those are still definitely my prime suspects. Science continues to play catch up with my own personal research. 😉

Coincidentally, the cycle lasted from around the start to near the finish of the “Get The World Moving” Global Corporate Challenge that I was participating in this summer. That worked like this: Wear a fancy pedometer that records your “steps” throughout the day then enter the steps online and succumb to Peer Pressure to increase your daily-step count. I averaged 13,700 steps a day and, according to my stats log, walked 548 miles in the 100 day challenge. I must admit I was completely bored with it by mid-point so I started playing games with the pedometer to see how I could increase my count without wasting more time walking. The end result was that I did get out more. I even started running again. 🙂

Another day in the life… BabyBrain DrippingGeocachingNews

Back in July of 2012 I cataloged a day in the form of 2 dozen Facebook posts rolled into one blog entry. This past week I took a vacation day because of the endless snow and decided to make a record of my day. Enjoy my banality! Here is my day…

07:30  Who needs an alarm clock when you have a 2 year old? Allison wakes us up by bringing all of her teddy bears and blankets to our bed and hopping in.
08:00  I’m called a “Wimp” by the folks at the office for taking a vacation day and not braving the elements yet again. They’re just Jealous!
08:30  Allison and I are cracking peanuts with a lineman’s pliers. Not the right tool for the job but it certainly makes instant peanut butter!
09:00  While Heather is preparing breakfast I’m watching funny cat and fox videos with Allison. What does the fox say? “Abay ba da bum bum bay dum” obviously.
Snowman201409:30  Breakfast is served! Vanilla Almond Pancakes with Banana/Strawberry/Apple compote. Before we begin Allison taps her pancake on mine and says “Cheers!”
10:15  Breakfast is all cleaned up and we start to get dressed to go outside to play in the snow. We had 6-8 inches of fresh powder but it was starting to turn to sleet.
10:45 Finally dressed, we head out into the… rain? Drats! Regardless, we make a snow angel and a snowman/fireman because a little rain wont soak through too quickly.
11:15  Allison back inside with Mommy. Shoveltime! I clear the entrance, the drive, the walk and a path to the trash cans. Super soggy snow is triple heavy. Sux.
12:15  Ok, that’s more than enough shoveling for now but the driveway looks good and I don’t fear it will freeze into a brick overnight. Inside!
12:30  Time for a pretzel snack and some My Little Pony. Yeah, it’s a show for little girls but for some reason the whole family likes it. Maybe it’s the inclusion of mythological and geek-culture creatures like the Cockatrice and Tribble-esque Parasprites. Or maybe I’m just a Brony? True Bronies are a fascinating bunch.
13:30  Lunch. Wraps and leftovers. Nothing to write tweets about I guess.
14:00  Allison is calling me “Dad” instead of Daddy today. Not sure what to make of that.
14:30  Time for a few minutes with Central Jersey Chat and uploading this mornings adventure to Facebook (the snowman picture above).
15:30 Allison is down for a nap. She wanted to lay on “MommyDaddyBed”. Heather is out shoveling so I’ll just lay here too until she falls asleep. . .
17:00  I wake up with my legs tingling because Allison is laying across them like the cat usually does. Nice nap though!
17:30 Checking my afternoon mail and solving an easy Geopuzzle before Allison wakes up.
17:45  Allison has invented a new drink: Milk & Grape Juice. I dubbed it Purple Milk and the name has stuck.
18:30 My Little Pony Round Two. It was still up on Netflix and it’s hard to say no to a grumpy toddler. I take the opportunity to set up the massage and Heather hops on for a tune up to the back and arms.
19:00 Story time on the sofa while dinner prep begins. I make up the story of the little reindeer with a boo-boo inside herself and the time Elmo took too much stuff to the beach.
20:00  Late dinner. This tends to happen if I’m home to distract, Teehee! Ravioli, asparagus and spiced cauliflower are worth the wait.
20:30 Playing games with Allison and her stuffed kitty cat. The cat keeps going pee-pee on the carpet and we keep making it go outside while we clean up. Suddenly Allison changes the game and the cat goes nuts and sprays all over the whole room while I scream. Instead of cleaning up I decide we have to move out. Great fun!
21:30  Allison is snoring quietly. Owl Babies for the bedtime book. Little Bill’s “I WANT MY MOMMY!” gets a giggle every time. Time for a massage to fix the damage done by shoveling!
23:00  The bed is calling. It’s been a long day but a good day. Night-night!
23:01  ZZzzzzzz….