Now the biggest blow – possibly ever – has knocked my perpetual puerility for a loop. The Simpsons is no longer on in syndication. I’ve been enjoying my daily D’oh for as long as I’ve been shaving. Since before I could vote. Almost as long as I’ve been driving. How could this be? The Simpsons still was the highest rated show in its time slot this past Sunday, even in reruns, and Homer was just declared TV’s greatest character so again I ask; How could this be?! The worst part? They replaced it with life-long Jon Stewart wannabee Craig Kilborn’s new show. This is the guy who thinks he owns idea of asking his guest 5 questions and is so painfully uncharismatic that he originally needed writers to create a persona for him. I’ll say this for the guy: He’s apparently in good with the roaches… he just refuses to die.

Of course, my venom is mostly just in reaction to what he has replaced. I wouldn’t have had a cow, man if Fox overlayed TMZ. This almost felt personal and I had to find answers so I hit Fox.com. No mention of the Kilborn show. Interesting. Google was a bit more enlightening – it turns out the show is being tested in only a few markets! That means somewhere children of all ages are still enjoying 10-15 year old 21-23 minute comedic masterworks from the glory days of the show. There is hope! The test-run is only for 6 weeks – ending August 6th.

There are those who say the show is no longer relevant. Those naysayers have apparently allowed themselves to get old. For shame! Truth be told, I don’t watch the re-runs every day or even every week but it’s a comfort thing to know they’re there. I will also admit that the show isn’t what it used to be. It couldn’t be because I’m getting older and no longer fall into their target demographic. Impossible! No, the blame lies squarely on The Simpsons itself – in setting the bar too high. In a few years the Powers That Be will decide that the show has run long enough and I will… probably cry like a baby. Until then all I can do is wait and enjoy it while it lasts. Six weeks from now I may return to the glorious TV of my youth. Until then, Craig Kilborn can eat my shorts.

Day 12: A non-traditional and a great start to any holiday season! I heard it first on 33rpm long-play record – John Denver & The Muppets – A Christmas Together – When the River Meets the Sea. The song was written by Paul Williams for Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas which is another one of my Christmas favorites.

Day 11: A non-secular classic today. When making my Christmas “mix tapes” back in the day, I excluded Jingle Bells because most recorded versions were too childish. Then I heard this version on an oldies station by accident and it became a favorite. Sing, clap or stomp, just make a joyous noise for Fats Domino’s version of Jingle Bells!

Day 10: Carol of the Drum, better known as The Little Drummer Boy with words and music by Katherine K. Davis. Check out the interesting side bar on the link – the song dates back to 1941. This is the “original” recorded version arranged and sung by the Harry Simeone Chorale.

Day 9: Oh Holy Night – my favorite traditional and the first song ever broadcast via radio. Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Ignore the video. Just listen. The true beauty of this song is its legendary history. My favorite line is usually not sung: “Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace.“

Day 8: With snow on all of our minds, I have to go with White Christmas. Written in 1940 and introduced two years later in the musical Holiday Inn, not the 1954 movie of the same name. I love Bing’s version, but The Drifters have way more fun with it. Their video can’t be embedded so I present the always fun animated version.

Day 7: Nat King Cole – The Christmas Song – Although its been sung many times, many ways, it was written by Mel Torme in 1947 who was just trying to keep cool one hot summer. Nat changed it slightly by adding the strings section and the song became one of the biggest hits ever. I couldn’t imagine Christmas without it!

Day 6: Another old stand-by – Burl Ives singing Holly Jolly Christmas. I still love the 1964 “claymation” movie where most of us heard this song for the first time. This one was written in by Johnny Marks who, though Jewish, wrote many other Christmas classics including Rudolph, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree and Run Rudolph Run.

Day 5: It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas as sung by Bing Crosby. “But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be on your own front door.” Every year I make a pilgrimage to some remote forest in NJ and harvest the annual sprig of Holly. This year I visited the maritime forest on Sandy Hook with my wife and a good friend of ours. Good times & happy memories!

Day 4: Happy XMas – John Lennon with the Harlem Community Choir. Yes, the song is titled “XMas” not “Chirstmas”. “So this is Christmas and what have we done? Another year over, a new one just begun.” Actually a protest song but the message is simple – Peace. On Christmas day remember the man but honor his message.

Day 3: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas works beautifully in duets. One of my favorite versions features Bing Crosby & Frank Sinatra but that isn’t one of YouTube’s favorites. This version features two performers which I dearly miss. …”Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow.” I tried to not go back to the well with my most favorite Christmas Album of all time… although the lyrics have changed a lot over the years, I could only find recordings where Bing misses a lyric (He says Self instead of Heart) so I go with what works.

Day 2: From the Emmy Award winning Charlie Brown Christmas Special – Christmas Time Is Here by Vince Guaraldi. “Christmas time is here. We’ll be drawing near. Oh, that we could always see such spirit through the year!” This video features an excellent edit of the special and includes Linus’ monologue (Luke 2:8-14). The inclusion of this word-for-word reading originally horrified CBS executives but Charles Shultz insisted saying “If we don’t tell the true meaning of Christmas, who will?”. Read more of the interesting history here.

Christmas Day: John Denver & the Muppets – Alfie the Christmas Tree. Anyone that knows me probably had a good inkling that this would be my final song. It’s one of John Denver’s favorites and it was inspired by the Muppets that helped him perform it. Merry Christmas! The video features the entire segment of the special including a duet with Kermit. Great stuff.

This has been a turbulent month for me in a lot of ways. It all started when I returned to work after the New Year’s break and discovered our parent companies had filed for their country’s equivalency of bankruptcy.  The American division is ok so far but it’s not a pretty sight overseas. I hear about companies all over laying people off left and right and I can’t help but feel a bit worried, especially after my other New Year’s surprise – my property taxes went up 10%. Thanks Corzine!

Other turbulence: The other Saturday I flipped on the old boob tube (which doesn’t have a tube. Oh well.) and found nothing but infomercials for hair products & yoga mats. What the? When I was a whipper snapper I lived for Saturday Morning Cartoons and now they are nowhere to be found. I suppose they’ve moved up the dial. You can always get something animated on the Cartoon or Nick networks but Yoga and Hair curlers? Damn… kids are going to just have to go outside to find entertainment!

Two days later I was shocked to hear G-Rock, my favorite radio station, suddenly change formats. Without warning they went from a progressive alt-rock station to a soulless top 40 cookie cutter TMZ mess. The station had been the anchor of my presets and it left a giant hole where “4″ used to be. I wasn’t alone in my disgust. By that weekend 7500 people had organized on Facebook (yeah, I got drawn in) and 3500 signatures had been signed on the Bring Back G-Rock petition. As of this writing Facebook has 9500 members & the petition is up to 4600 signatures.

I’m disappointed but I’m afraid the station wont go back to what it was. Nor will the institution of Saturday Morning Cartoons draw children together on weekends. Times they are a changing and terrestrial radio will be the first to go. Network Television may eventually follow. The Internet is largely to blame and though I love some of the changes, I’m sorry to see my options diminished. I could go with Satellite Radio but then I’ll have to get subscribed. I could get a plan on my phone… but once again, they make you subscribe. Not for me, man! Information & Entertainment was meant to be free. I’ll reconsider when “data” isn’t a “plan” and “commercial free” really is free from commercialism. One day in the hopefully distant future I’ll look back at the early 00′s and remember them as the golden age of entertainment & information – when it was still free and available in multiple ways.

On one hand it will be excellent to turn on The Fiosion to check your email, pull up the latest pictures of your nephew and instantly begin watching the latest episode of The Simpsons (Now in it’s 33rd year!) but the flip side of that coin is that you’ll be locked into a 5 year deal with T-Mobile/Verizon (Officially branded as T.V.) and subject to personal commercials directed right into your psychy based on the things they know about from your Gmail account. Don’t think it’s possible? Get a glimpse of the future on Facebook. Change your birth-date to something in the 50s and watch the ads change to wrinkle cream & arthritis pills. Mark yourself as “Single” and the dating ads will fill your sidebar. Just wait until they know your car just went over 100,000 miles, that you’re addicted to Chap-Stick, and that you never returned that overdue library book (ya know, from back when Libraries still existed).

Ok, that’s enough grousing for one month. I’ll be back next month with less insight and more hindsight.

One of the soldiers took notice & saved a large bouquet of flowers, which he presented to her one morning. Despite their differences, the two fell in love. Though she never tried to change his mind, her love of the land was infectious & soon after being deployed into battle the young soldier defected to the Colonial Army. He promised to marry her when he returned. He wrote to Emily frequently over the next year but one day the letters stopped coming. The years piled up, the war ended & she lost hope & began to despair. She was inconsolable. As Emily’s health began to fail so did the farm. Crops withered, fruits dried on the vine & not a flower could be seen on the property.

On the occasion of the first frost in 1783 Emily took a walk in the North East meadow, sat down to rest under a willow tree & never woke up. She was buried in that same meadow. On Christmas Eve of that season her lover finally returned. He had been captured by the British & sent over seas as a prisoner of war. The revolution ended before he could stand trial & eventually he was able to make his way back to the colonies. Her soldier was saddened when he heard the news of her death but war had hardened him & he could shed no tears. Emily’s mother led him to the gravesite. As he knelt by Emily’s final resting place, her Mother placed a bundle of dried flowers alongside the headstone. The soldier recognized the flowers as the very bouquet he gave her when they first met. His heart finally broke & he began to weep.

On the first day of Spring life returned to the farm when a lone Morning Glory bloom unfolded to greet the dawn. It had sprouted alongside Emily’s grave where her love’s tears fell to earth.

Don’t get me wrong, family is always worth the trip but if I spend 4.5 hours making a 2 hour trip they wouldn’t want me there, ya know?

Anyway, so… yeah we stayed home. We cleaned up the house a little, ate a big pancake & sausage breakfast, cleaned up the house some more, had a nice lunch of leftovers from this past week and then decided to go for a hike in Cheesequake State Park. We explored the new trails, the lake and a marsh we hadn’t been in before. I caught leaves and climbed horizontal trees while Heather found some lovely moss. We had a nice hike too & even borrowed time to find the Geocache that’s closest to our home. I dropped my “Moving Man” geocoin into the cache. It can do the moving from now on! While signing the log a Turkey Buzzard lighted heavily on a nearby branch. Cool.

Back at home it was time for Thanksgiving Dinner! We microwaved a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes & cranberry green-beans. We shared it while eating over the sink – just as the pilgrims did! I gave thanks for the microwave bounty that we ate. Of course, this wasn’t the last of the meal… since it was such a nice day we fired up the grill for one last time and cooked hot dogs & the last of the bacon wrapped filet mignon. For desert we had chocolate.

That’s my kinda Thanksgiving. I’ll close with a short poem from our dear friends at Rathergood.com. Happy T-Day everyone!

It’s the best day of the year.
Every body shout and cheer!
Because there no religious reason
Why we’re all gathered here.
It’s secular you see?
And that’s alright with me.
Now say your thanks and eat a Turkey Knee!

News: I’m upgrading my computer so my connectivity is somewhat limited. I dropped in a second video card to complete my SLI upgrade path & swapped out my old Athlon 64 3000+ for a shiny new Dual Core Athlon 4400+. I would have went with the 4600 but couldn’t find the part on the cheap. I ran some benchmarks before and after and it looks like my (synthetic) FPS scores nearly doubled in games while my gigaflops (processor speed) actually increased by a factor of 2.4. Very nice and well worth the upgrade. Just wait until I start cranking some multi-threaded apps. The downside is that Windows was horrible unstable when I got done so I’m reinstalling the OS and it’ll be a few days before I’m fully productive again.

New House: We’ve passed another “final” deadline on gettig bank approval. Then he attorneys went on vacation. Now we’re waiting (over a week now) for the seller’s attorney to return the phone call & emails that our side has been sending. In the mean time we’re looking at other houses. The bank’s delays have now cost us over 5 grand in interest (over the full term of the loan) thanks to the ever-increasing rates.

Geocaching: Heather & I woke up at 4:30 AM this past Saturday to make it to the “07/07/07 at 07:07″ Event down near Cherry Hill. The turnout was unbelievable! Any cacher who’s missing out on events is missing out on a lot of the fun of the sport. Afterwards we teamed up with 7 other cachers and hit 7 additional caches. Funny how that worked out, eh? We took off for South Jersey after lunch and ended up meeting a cacher from the early days of the sport at the family BBQ. We’re everywhere! Also, for the past 17 days I’ve had a streak of geocache finds. I’ve set a new record and I’m still going! Check out my statistics at It’s Not About The Numbers.com.

Brain Dripping: I hate to see news like this. In a nutshell, someone named Eric Dalton got shot in the chest in Winston-Salem NC. If Sarah Connor had paid more attention to the news she could have beat feet before The Terminator found her and killed her friend. But seriously, I hope he’s Ok. I’ll keep ya’ll posted if I can dig up more news.

independent

• adjective 1 free from outside control or influence. 2 (of a country) self governing. 3 not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence. 4 not connected with another; separate. 5 (of broadcasting, a school, etc.) not supported by public funds.

On the Fourth of July 2007 I celebrated my own personal lack of outside controlling influence by not buying a Dunkin’ Coolata, watching TV or going to see the Transformers Movie. I proved myself self-governing by deciding to sleep in and not take a shower until mid afternoon. I depend not upon another for livelihood! (I made my own ball-park franks & “peace, pasta & parmesan” mac & cheese) I may be connected to my wife, but we did our own thing almost all day. We even have our own separate cats. Oh, and though I did enjoy the benefits of some public fun I do not enjoy the benefits of any public funds.

I think for myself, feel my own emotions & do not buy into propaganda. I pay my taxes, vote my conscience & hate how all the fireworks I heard yesterday were made in China. I’m proud that an American is once again the hot-dog-eating-champ but sad that comic book writers killed Captain America and the final Sopranos episode was filled with thinly veiled political rhetoric.

It seems lots of folks have lost their pride in America. Maybe I just have too much faith or maybe I can’t let go of the dream because my name is right there in the middle of the word America for goodness sake. Whatever the reason I hold out hope that more Independents will emerge. They’ll turn off The News, crack a book and think for themselves. They’ll see the big picture. They’ll run for office. They’ll win. Congress will be filled with Independent Thinkers and a new square peg who just doesn’t fit into the old system will toil in the oval office every four years.

But that’s a ways away… first things first! Before you can take pride in your country, start by taking pride in your back yard, your children & most importantly: yourself. See yourself independently of how others tell you how you are supposed to look. Work independently of the limitations others have prescribed for you. Think independently of the groupthink others have thought for you. Be your own person for God’s sake! Or, failing that, be your own God for man’s sake. Have pride in yourself and everything else starts to fall in line like so many ducks in a row at a Cheney family reunion. Start now and by this holiday next year you too can celebrate Independent’s day and nobody will ever be able to take that away from you.

What have I become.

I just had a look at myself in the mirror and I feel a little better. It just looks like I’m smeared over with vasoline. Not that being covered in vasoline makes me feel more masculine, but at least I don’t look like I’m supposed to be in a spa commercial. Yaurgh. I’d rather have coins on my eyes than cucumbers.

Ok, so anyway… as I’ve been Geocaching all over the state the past few weeks a pattern emerged that I had been noticing subconsciously my entire life….

Every time I crested a hill and found a nice high place with a view… I also found a fire ring. At first I wondered about the paleolithic remnant of our brains that insists that mountains need fire. Then I realized that even Mountain Men like to enjoy the view now and again, but male bonding isn’t possible without Beer or Fire or – better yet – Beer AND Fire. Then I reflected on the Mountain Boys who had been up here recently and had the same problem but instead of two guys toting a faggot of firewood up the hill, these two boys carried spray paint and wrote “faggot” on the rocks. I can only assume this was in brash defiance of the feeling that “if my friend’s hand brushes mine one more time I’m going to grab it and if he doesn’t pull away I’ll squeeze his hand tight in mine for the rest of my life”…

My mind tends to wonder while I wander.

Of course the truth of the fire-rings has nothing to do with human nature.

That is where the space ships land. Obviously.

Slash forward 120 years & congress has decided to put all of the presidents on the coins. The trouble is that despite Congress making a special provision for the “REDESIGN AND ISSUANCE OF CIRCULATING $1 COINS HONORING EACH OF THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES” they’ve gone & done pissed off George Washington, Abe Lincoln & even Franklin Pierce by giving Grover Cleveland TWO, count them again, TWO full sets of coins! Are we commemorating the Presidents or Terms of Presidencies? Are they really stating that Cleveland was two unique people capable of being two presidents? Is there precedence?

Way back in the days when A Renaissance Faire was just called “A Faire”, King Henry The Sixth was succeeded by Edward the Fourth by some nasty business. Then the comeback music started & Henry The Sixth took back his throne becoming… Henry The Seventh? Of course not! We wouldn’t see one of those for another 15 years. Grover is simply El Presidente the 22nd & nothing more. It simply boggles the mind that a guy who lost the popular vote, slipped in anyway & then went on to become a One Termer not once, but twice is going to have double the number of coins in circulation as Adams, Roosevelt & Bush. Well, bad examples by name there, but you get the idea.

This cannot be allowed to go unnoticed! I say this good people: In the year 2012 – do not, under any circumstances accept a Super Grover coin! If it has the number 24 on it, refuse it as you would a pine nickel! This is a man who had his sister for the First Lady (Look it up!) then married a woman 26 years younger than himself! Ok, that’s actually pretty cool, but he never even earned a collegiate degree. Yes, he’s one of our Presidents, but in the end he was just another Lawyer from New Jersey.

Linky’s!
Presidential Coin Release Schedule
Benjamin Harrison Bio
Grover Cleveland Bio

There’s a fun little shopping website called woot.com that sells exactly one item per day. That one item is usually tech related & always cheap. The irreverent nature of the site, as much as the sale prices, is what attracts many of the sites loyal (ok, rabid) fans. Amusing sales pitches, pod-casts & weekly contests add to the fun. Imagine a K-Mart Blue-Light-Special with a singing carnival barker salesman & hundreds of shoppers poking fun at (or extolling the virtues of) the merchandise.

They also sell bags of crap.

I don’t know where the idea came from, but it’s genius. Woot.com takes a bunch of stuff they couldn’t possibly sell, dumps it into a brown paper bag (or box for shipping) and sells it for a buck and people go insane trying to get one. Sure, they throw in a few big-ticket jackpots (TVs, X-Boxes, Etc) but the real pay-off is simply the bragging rights of having bought a B.O.C.

Once in a blue moon they’ll sell a BOC as their daily sale and it’s sold out within minutes. This means that I have to stay up until 2 AM EST to catch the new sale as it comes online at midnight Texas time. The other way to earn a BOC is to catch it as it comes around during a Woot-Off. A Woot-Off is when they sell many many items, one at a time until they sell out, at prices discounted even further than normal. Woot-offs typically last a day or two and the items change every few minutes as they sell out. Somewhere in the midst of this melee of might appear the coveted Random Crap.

Watching the recent Woot-off in November I hit refresh as the previous item sold out and was greeted with the link above and the image at the left. I just managed to get the order in as their servers got hammered to death. Today my BOC arrived in the mail courtesy of Jesus the Fedex guy. Jesus, you’re my homey!

Without further delay, here are the contents of my very own personal Bag of Crap! Click the images to make them BIGGER.

The first thing I noticed was a neat compact wireless mouse. Now I can control my Livingroom Media PC from the comfort of my couch! Batteries included, this is worth the $6 by itself.

Next I pulled out the once-famouse CueCat. Around the turn of the century it was dreamed of as a way to avoid using search engines by scanning bar-codes off of magazines, books, TV, etc. The internet bust took this cool cat down with it unfortunately. Read more at the link below. The technology eventually made it’s way into webcams & my friend Ethan was lucky enough to actually have one.

Finally, I plucked forth a Samsonite camera bag/fanny pack. It has many pockets, a strap, handle & ample storage for all my digital camera gear! Wish I hadn’t just bought a camera bag though.

Collected Links:


Reported Bag-o-Crap Contents
Woot.com’s Wikipedia Entry
Original CueCat link
Dissecting the CueCat

Kitchen Clock – Atomic. Sets itself (and is used as the reference point for all other clocks in the household)
Rice Cooker clock – for setting the timer.
Microwave clock – for knowing how long your forgotten quiche has been sitting in there. Stereo clock – It has a display so they felt the need to add a clock.
VCR clock – For timed recordings. It doesn’t even display, but it’s in there!
DVD player clock – Again for timed recordings, but this one does display.
Luxury Bathroom clock – So Heather knows how early she is in the morning.
Utility Bathroom clock – So Eric knows how late he is in the morning.
Nightstand 1 clock - Heather’s with the broken time zone.
Nightstand 2 clock – Eric’s with the “atomic” featured turned off so to be correctly in sync with other atomic clocks.
Wrist watch clock – *NIU, needs batteries.
Four PC clocks – Set themselves back an hour automatically based on this being the last Sunday in October. What will happen NEXT year?
Den clock – Tells me it’s friggin’ late and I need to get off of the computer and go to bed.
Lock Haven University Mantle clock – Sits in the den under my diploma and chimes on the hour.
Poptarts Gag Alarm clock – Don’t send in your box tops for this clock. The hour hand doesn’t spin so I really don’t know what time it is!
Aquarium Timer
My Car clock – Which I have to look up in the owners manual to figure out how to change twice a year. So sad.
Heather’s Car clock – Which will be correct again if we just wait until March.
Embedded clocks – these are the more annoying ones because you might not remember to get them all until months go by and you’re really tempted to just wait until the next switch when they’ll be right again. These include, but are not limited to: My MP3 Player, iPod, Digital Camera, Heather’s Not -digital Camera, Video Camera, Cable Modem, Router, Printer, Portable-Stereo, Portable-CD Player, Walkman, Stop Watch, Handheld Games, Calculator, Organizer, Spell-checker and both Pedometers.

That’s it. I’m going back to bed and not setting an alarm because I don’t think the clock knows what time it is either.

UPDATE!
11/2/06 – We had a power outage last night and now I have to set half of the clocks all over again. Hooray!

Obligatory Links:
Explanation from the US Government concerning Daylight Saving Time
Ok, so what time is it?
A less US-Centric What-time-is-it link

Greenwich Mean Time

Some back story on our wedding song: Several months ago when Heather & I decided to get married we knew we would need a song & when nothing immediately sprang to mind I queued up all of the songs in my musical collection, hit the Random button and let it play. With over 14 Thousand tracks to choose from the computer, in its infinite wisdom chose… “Stairway to Heaven”. We wouldn’t be the first to use it in a wedding, but… no thanks. We ended up choosing”Road to Nowhere” by the Talking Heads not so much for the lyrics (see below), but for the bouncy fun of it all. This road that we are on is going nowhere, but we’re on the road and we are going t enjoy the scenery, the ups, the downs & most off all, the bumperstickers along the way. I’m feelin’ Ok this morning & you know, we’re on a road to paradise, here we go… here we go.

To be honest , my favorite part of the editing process was going through all of the songs that didn’t make the cut, were really inappropriate for a wedding or are just to cheesy to actually use… and splicing them into one long montage of musical mayhem. Just for fun, I added extra cow-bell to several of the songs and overlaid the famous “Mawidge!” audio from the Princess Bride. Wanna guess what song I chose to mix with the movie audio? Why, Stairway to Heaven of course! Take a listen… without fear of lawsuit, I now brazenly post several seconds of a dozen or so songs mixed together with fun sound bytes. Enjoy!

Click to listen to or download Eric & Heather’s Rejected Wedding Songs Medley!

“Road to Nowhere” – Talking Heads – From their 1987 Album “Little Creatures” (We used the version from their greatest hits album “Sand in the Vasoline”)

WELL WE KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOIN’
BUT WE DON’T KNOW WHERE WE’VE BEEN
AND WE KNOW WHAT WE’RE KNOWIN’

BUT WE CAN’T SAY WHAT WE’VE SEEN
AND WE’RE NOT LITTLE CHILDREN
AND WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT
AND THE FUTURE IS CERTAIN
GIVE US TIME TO WORK IT OUT

We’re on a road to nowhere
Come on inside
Takin’ that ride to nowhere

We’ll take that ride

I’m feelin’ okay this mornin’
And you know,
We’re on the road to paradise
Here we go, here we go.

We’re on a ride to nowhere
Come on inside.
Takin’ that ride to nowhere

We’ll take that ride.

Maybe you wonder where you are
I don’t care
Here is where time is on our side
Take you there…take you there.

We’re on a road to nowhere (Heh! Ha!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (Ha! Ha!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (Ha! Hah! Wooo!)

There’s a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride

and it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

And it’s very far away
But it’s growing day by day
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

Would you like to come along

To help me sing this song

And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

They can tell you what to do
But they’ll make a fool of you
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

[repeat last 4 stanzas, with feeling]

We’re on a road to nowhere (Hey!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (Heeeaaaah!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (HAAAAH! HAAAAAAH!)

We’re on a road to nowhere….