Pictures tell the story. Thursday January 28th. I awake to find yet another foot and a half of snow has fallen. The trees were just sagging under the weight. I noticed we lost a few good sized branches from the twin pines. One crushed the thermometer hanging on the tree. The sheer weight of the snow was too much for the flagpole too. It bent down until the flag touched the ground. Then I saw my car.

The monster branch (about 6 inches across at it’s thickest and weighing 60+ pounds laden with snush) fell about 20 before landing right where we normally park during “snow episodes”. For some reason I pulled right in behind Heather that day. Probably saved myself a repair bill too. My whole yard is nothing but shattered pine. My whole driveway is surrounded by walls of snow. In two days it is Groundhogs Day and I’m thinking of macing the little guy just so he can’t see his shadow and give me another six weeks of this crap. Come on Spring! Come early! Do it for the Trees – they obviously can’t take much more snow!

[PS: If the images aren't displayed, click the Original link below. I'm trying a new gallery and I'm betting it won't email well.]

It was a rocky road leading up to the rocky trail but, with Heather’s support and patience, I lived – and finished in the middle of the pack.

Since my last update I didn’t keep track of my miles as religiously but I know that in week 5 I topped out at 20 miles and then started to go down hill. With 3 weeks to go I went out for my standard 5 mile morning run and, while crossing between a park and sidewalk, banged my knee on a guardrail. It swelled up pretty good and kept me from running for a few days but could have been much worse. One week later, on the same morning loop and very near where I hit my knee, my ankle started clicking with every step. Then it started hurting and I ended up limping the last mile home. Lots of ice and massage to the calf loosened things up but I’m still not sure what causes the strange clicking. I know it’s worse when I sit with my feet crossed over and the heel of my opposite foot resting on a particular tendon on the top of ankle. I’ll sometimes sleep in this position so I think it’s ironic that I might be injuring myself while napping!

I barely ran the final two weeks. I got out for 6 miles for the annual 9/11 memorial run and a easy 4 miler a few days before the race just to keep things lubricated. I focused on getting lots of sleep that week and prepped everything I would need including securing a hotel a few miles from the starting line. The night before the run Heather & I drove out to Philly and just crashed. I woke up before the alarm and took a walk around the motel. It was HOT already! I picked a Fall run because the heat really kills me. So, what do I get? A near record breaking heat wave. I wanted an Indian Summer, not a summer in India! Adding to my angst, I failed to enter the location of the race start in the GPS and, though I had studied the route, a road turned out to be named something different so we got lost. The final straw was when I tried to grab an extra bottle of water from the cooler. The whole thing turned over somehow and dumped water and half melted ice into my dry clothing bag. Arrrgh!

The race director was on top of things though and assuaged my biggest fears by adding two more water-stops along the course which allowed me the freedom to not carry a bottle. Just in case though Heather agreed to drive down to the half-way point and cheer me on/hydrate me as necessary. She was carrying the special bottle of home-made sports drink (Equal measures fruit juice, Pedialyte & seltzer) and was met there by our friend Amy who lives in the Philly area and was cool enough to swing by and help keep Heather sane while waiting for me. It turned out that the half way point was one of the water stops so Heather & Amy volunteered to help distribute H²O & “G”. I reached them just over an hour into the race. I was doing great at that point, and had even been conversational, but I had done a lot of 6 mile training runs so that’s to be expected. The back half would be the real test. While the first 6 miles were almost entirely trails, the next 3 miles were on a paved bike path. I’m no fan of blacktop running so I plodded along on the grass just to the side of the trail and used the opportunity to run backwards for a bit to give my legs a taste of something different. Yeah, I’m a very odd runner apparently. =]

The final water break was at mile 8.4. It took my dehydrated and oxygen deprived brain a few minutes but I figured that gave me less than two miles to go. Cake walk! Alas, that’s the point I hit the really hilly part of course. I fought cramps & fatigue the last mile but ran every step of every hill – unlike the group in front of me which walked the hills and was passed/passed by me at least a half dozen times. When I rounded a turn and saw the finish line I dumped what I had left into my legs and kicked for the finish completing my run in 2 hours and 15 minutes. Awesome! That’s a 10.36 minute mile pace throughout.

I collected my prize – a cuckoo whistle imported from Germany – and walked around sipping water for a while before Heather & Amy returned. My legs felt like rubber – both the overly quivery rubber and the hard dry-rotted kind – and I had half a headache. After re-hydrating and yummying down on a sausage sandwich I started to feel almost human again. After some stretching work I was ready to go again!

So, that’s my tale. I survived! Thanks to the race coordinators for the extra water stops, GU-CHOMPS for providing me some electrolytes along the way & Heather & Amy for being my support crew. I’ll also apologize to my friends that I blew off the past few weekends because I had to get in some long training runs. To make up for lost time I’m taking a long weekend and going biking in Central Park on Friday and camping in Voorhees State Park on Saturday & Sunday. I believe I’ve earned some R&R!

Before I even completed the half I was asked if I would continue on to run a full marathon. I doubt it. The time investment is way outside of what I’m willing to give to something that basically just hurts. I won’t say that wont ever try one… but it would take an early retirement (and probably the collapse of the GPS system) to give me that motivation. No matter what though… 13.1 is off my bucket list!

Back in February I received an email from General Motors. Being a Saturn Owner, they wanted me to know that they would be more than happy to sell me a new car with a nice discount.

The bold print said we are family. The fine print told me that Saturns were excluded from the special.

It was about that time that the front end went out of alignment. Nothing major. Just one more bit of character to the car. I promised myself I would get it aligned the next time I had it in the shop. Well, it didn’t need any work for the next few months and then on Easter weekend, while I was on my way down to South Jersey for Easter Dinner I hit the mother of all Jersey Potholes while getting onto the Turnpike. It threw the alignment way out of whack but the car was drivable and nothing is open on Easter so I enjoyed my meal and once everyone was back to work I made an appointment to have the front end twiddled. I took it to a tire place (which should have some experience in alignments) and was told that the sub-frame had bent and would have to be replaced. $900 if I went with a used part. They warmed me that it wasn’t really safe because it was a control issue. Having just driven it close to 200 miles, I didn’t really listen because I felt I could get it home while I mulled over my mechanical options.

I never suspected the 4 mile ride home would be the car’s last ride.

If the car was going to sit for a while it’s a bad idea to let it sit with a nearly empty gas tank so I pulled into the Wawa… well, almost. I made it most of the way in and then the wheel fell off. Well, almost. It tore free and wedged into the wheel well. The frame was apparently not just bent but nearly rusted through. It gave way and snapped the axle like a twig. With a sick grinding noise I came to an abrupt stop. I could never get a straight answer when I asked what the “L” stood for in the model name of the car. I think now it was for Luck because his could have easily happened at 70MPH on the highway! As luck would have it, I have AAA PLUS which allows me a 100 mile tow so, of course, I break down less than a mile from my house. I was only a few miles from a trusted mechanic so I had them tow the car there and Heather ferried me home. We called up the insurance folks (NJ Manufacturers) and was delighted to learn that pothole damage falls under my collision coverage. They grabbed the wheel, as it where, and set things in motion.

The damage was considerable. Besides the axle, the strut, brakes, control arm & rocker panel were needing replaced and the transmission was leaking badly. The estimate was $2525. Given the age of the car the insurance folks decided classify my car as a total loss. The next few days saw me behind the wheel of a rented Altima and scrambling to learn everything about the current car market. In retrospect, I should have been paying more attention the past few years. Also in retrospect, if I had heard “Dude! Your wheel’s gunna fall off!” instead of “It’s a control issue.” I probably would have had it repaired. Now it’s too late to save my baby!

Earlier today, the salver (A salver salvages cars, get it?) came and took away my car. The salvage value was $315. Ouch. Cleaning it out and taking off the plates was hard. Signing over the title was harder. 10 years ago I very thoroughly researched the market and made what I still believe was a good decision with Saturn. There was one unconscionable recall 5 years ago (just as my warranty ran out) but other than that the car required very little work and never let me sit. In the end it needed tires, the A/C didn’t work, the mirrors had to be adjusted by hand, the keyless entry required a key & I had dinged and scratched the car in several places. It had character! It also had a four wheels and you need every single one of those apparently.

I’m still researching cars and thinking of going a little bigger. Something that fits my more active lifestyle without giving up too much gas mileage. I wish I had a little more time to mourn but I can’t keep the rental forever. So long Saturn! You were a good company. You were a good car. Maybe that “L” stood for Love.

It had been a few years since I was able to “win” one of Woot.com’s infamous Bags o’ Crap. They focus on tech stuff and typically sell just one item/day but every once in a while their warehouse fills up with crap they just can’t sell … so they sell a bag of crap for $3. I don’t know where the fascination with the unknown comes from but if Monty Hall has taught us anything, it is always take what is inside the box or behind the curtain! Usually within seconds of a BOC being posted for sale the whole site melts down as the orders come in at an incredible rate making it impossible for most of us to get in there early enough to get one of the few special treasures. Fortunately, they provide a Christmas Miracle every year giving us an extra chance – if we stay up past Santa Time on Christmas Eve. At 1AM EST on Christmas Day a BOC hit the site and my order managed to slip through. This year they obfuscated the “buy one” link to prevent internet trolling robots from buying them all up and I, a mere human, was able to get the BOC that I earned by being a good boy all year.

Anyway, they ship the things by FedEx SmartPost (aka, someone walks it across the country periodically stopping to smell the flowers) so it took 23 days to arrive at my door. The bag was actually a box and in and of itself was a crap as it had nearly torn through on the bottom. Fortunately, my promised three craps were safe inside. This is what I received:

Pocket Calculators

Red Pail & Action Figure

1) Not one, not two but *TEN* pocket calculators! Yes, believe it or not, small electronic gizmos used to come without built-in phones. These come full featured with off buttons!

2) One “Pail # 5 Bright Red” From Buquet Supply, INC. Made in Mexico. This bad-ass bucket is made of metal and the kinda red you only see on the nails of a professional manicurist.

3) One “Brothers in Arms – Hell’s Highway” video game promo action figure. Comes complete with eighteen points of articulation, two guns, two grenades, one knife, one helmet, one parachute, one backpack, one utility belt & one ammo-filled man-purse. Plus he’s got kung-fu grip!

So, am I happy with my crap? Of course! I always remember the primary crap  rule: Thou shalt not get the crap you want, thou shall want the crap you get.

My favorite use for this site is venting when I’m pissed so here goes: I’m through with Citibank. They were my first credit card and the only ones who took a chance on the stupid kid with no credit but at some point they got complacent. They made deals with third party “credit protection” folks who, while probably legit back in 1994, are certainly not any longer.

12 years ago I subscribed to a $15/year “credit protection” service paid every 3 years. The credit cards weren’t really doing much protecting yet and the service seemed like a good deal as I kept “losing” my wallet. After a few years I stopped receiving updates from the service. I’m guessing they got snapped up by one of the scammer groups. Anyway, 6 Years ago I canceled the service because the credit cards were watching their own backs. 3 years ago I got charged again despite the cancellation. It was difficult to find out who the hell these people were too. If they were still even REMOTELY legit I’d at least get an invoice. I disputed the charges and they got reversed. Bravo.

In the past 3 years I have moved, changed my phone number & my credit card number has been changed not once but twice because the stupid internet vendors are unable to keep my number private. You’d think that any subscription service would be out of luck, right? I mean month-to-month on Napster got screwed up… now could a once-every-three-years survive?

Not without help from the credit card company of course! Because Citi has facilitated these scammers (and “earned” approximately $2.10 on the transaction). And because the amount hasn’t been credited as I requested when I called them. And because I was given the run-around and spontaneously disconnected twice.  And because they didn’t send me the statements from 3 years ago like I requested last week. And because their interest rate is up to 20%. But mostly because they like to change my billing date, refuse to stop sending me balance transfer “checks”, charged fees for “forwarding” my Napster subscription to the new new number and drop charges on top of the interest for being a day late (while closing their business day whenever they feel like it).

So, see ya Citi. Hope you get a lot of happiness out of your $2.10 because you sold me out for the last time.

I had the bright idea to do one substantial project for the house each month. So far it’s looked like this:

January: Re-arrange the living room so the TV could be on an adjacent wall. This involved installing a new wall outlet and re-wiring the cable in the basement. We got it done in one day but it required extra trips to Home Depot to buy a mammoth drill bit and matching wall plates.

February: New faucet for the bathroom sink. I can’t say this one was fun. More trips to Lowes as the new pipes didn’t fit the old pipes and the bloody thing kept leaking. We went over into March but it works.

March: Get the killer thorn bushes out of the yard. The one was a well-established (read: bignormous) bush used to keep people out of the previous owners bedroom. Some folks plant a Garden. They planted a Guardian. It never really bloomed, hurt like hell if you got near it and was an ugly brown all winter so we decided to take it out. The others were the standard “sticker bushes” that you get if you don’t weed for a few years. We’re both perforated but most of the bushes are gone. The big one still has it’s root structure but we’ll hopefully be getting rid of those soon too.

April: Not sure yet. Paint the den? Build a new bathroom in the basement? Finally have that yardsale with which we’ve been threatening the neighbors? Whatever it is I can promise this: It wont make me bleed as much as those damn bushes did!