When some grooms would be running around getting doing last minute stuff or being social butterflies to cover the stomach butterflies I spent much of my free time the week before the big pig-roast wedding reception sitting in front of my computer pouring through my music catalogues, downloading & editing stuff I didn’t have & compiling playlists. The end result was three full CDs split up into Music for to Mingle, Slow Beats for Eats, and Dance Dance Reception. There was also a fourth CD with special songs that we could whip out on request like the Electric Slide or Hokey-Pokey. I threw on a few extra dance songs in case the party ran over (I not so secretly hoped it would). I timed the songs to coincide with when we wanted to have our ceremony, when the food would be served etc & nearly everything cue went off without a hitch. Beauty!

Some back story on our wedding song: Several months ago when Heather & I decided to get married we knew we would need a song & when nothing immediately sprang to mind I queued up all of the songs in my musical collection, hit the Random button and let it play. With over 14 Thousand tracks to choose from the computer, in its infinite wisdom chose… “Stairway to Heaven”. We wouldn’t be the first to use it in a wedding, but… no thanks. We ended up choosing”Road to Nowhere” by the Talking Heads not so much for the lyrics (see below), but for the bouncy fun of it all. This road that we are on is going nowhere, but we’re on the road and we are going t enjoy the scenery, the ups, the downs & most off all, the bumperstickers along the way. I’m feelin’ Ok this morning & you know, we’re on a road to paradise, here we go… here we go.

To be honest , my favorite part of the editing process was going through all of the songs that didn’t make the cut, were really inappropriate for a wedding or are just to cheesy to actually use… and splicing them into one long montage of musical mayhem. Just for fun, I added extra cow-bell to several of the songs and overlaid the famous “Mawidge!” audio from the Princess Bride. Wanna guess what song I chose to mix with the movie audio? Why, Stairway to Heaven of course! Take a listen… without fear of lawsuit, I now brazenly post several seconds of a dozen or so songs mixed together with fun sound bytes. Enjoy!

Click to listen to or download Eric & Heather’s Rejected Wedding Songs Medley!

“Road to Nowhere” – Talking Heads – From their 1987 Album “Little Creatures” (We used the version from their greatest hits album “Sand in the Vasoline”)

WELL WE KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOIN’
BUT WE DON’T KNOW WHERE WE’VE BEEN
AND WE KNOW WHAT WE’RE KNOWIN’

BUT WE CAN’T SAY WHAT WE’VE SEEN
AND WE’RE NOT LITTLE CHILDREN
AND WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT
AND THE FUTURE IS CERTAIN
GIVE US TIME TO WORK IT OUT

We’re on a road to nowhere
Come on inside
Takin’ that ride to nowhere

We’ll take that ride

I’m feelin’ okay this mornin’
And you know,
We’re on the road to paradise
Here we go, here we go.

We’re on a ride to nowhere
Come on inside.
Takin’ that ride to nowhere

We’ll take that ride.

Maybe you wonder where you are
I don’t care
Here is where time is on our side
Take you there…take you there.

We’re on a road to nowhere (Heh! Ha!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (Ha! Ha!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (Ha! Hah! Wooo!)

There’s a city in my mind
Come along and take that ride

and it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

And it’s very far away
But it’s growing day by day
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

Would you like to come along

To help me sing this song

And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

They can tell you what to do
But they’ll make a fool of you
And it’s all right, baby, it’s all right.

[repeat last 4 stanzas, with feeling]

We’re on a road to nowhere (Hey!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (Heeeaaaah!)
We’re on a road to nowhere (HAAAAH! HAAAAAAH!)

We’re on a road to nowhere….

Don’t download this song? A bizarre ramble…

Once upon a time I built my Fiance a PC and reformat my own HD. I decided to equip our OSes with all the latest & greatest software that money could buy. This meant that I would finally “get legal” with all of my software licences! Gone were the Goldwave & WinRAR… welcome Audacity & 7Zip. No more Microsoft Office! It’s all OpenOffice from here out! Where I couldn’t find a free alternative I purchased a licence. Of course, the most expensive single piece of “software” is the operating system itself. I choose to use the ubiquitous Windows XP because I already owned a licence. I bought another licence for Heather off of eBay. At the same time I also picked up a copy of Office XP. Unfortunately, some idiot fell for a phishing scam & I ended up “buying” a pirated CDR with “MS OFFICE” scribbled in marker on the front. So now I had hit my budget though I didn’t have the legit copy of Office that I wanted. I checked out the pirated copy. It would do the trick nicely.

I paid my dues. I made my honest attempt to get legit & I was robbed for my troubles. I never did install Office.

I would stake a lofty wager that over 90% of this country’s PCs contain illegal software or violations of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Thanks to the eBay ass clown I saw that I shouldn’t even bother trying to be 100% legal. I’m really not going to hurt Microsoft by using their software 10 minutes a week. I’m not hurting the radio station by downloading music so I can listen to it on my time and skip the commercials. I make it a point to boycott the shite products sold via the FM band anyway so maybe I’m doing them a favor by not tuning in eh? I mean really… does ANYONE buy a car because some jackalope screamed at you for 30 seconds & said his own name 20 times?

But I digress. I’ve never officially weighed in on the idea of downloading Music within the hallowed tubes of this website, so here’s my official stance: I have illegal copies of music & I intend to keep them. I’ll not share them, but I’ll use them for my own personal use. In most cases the music was ripped from my own CD collection. The physical copies of the CDs are kept in the car. This way I can enjoy the music I purchased at home or on the road. This is called illegal. I have over 100 cassette tapes from my youthier days. I used a combination of white, gray & black market to make sure I had a digital copy of my tapes before they rotted to nothing in my attic. This is also called illegal.

When I bought a copy of those albums I bought them FOREVER. For years the record labels made tons of money buy forcing us to buy the music we loved multiple times, from records to 8-tracks, cassette tapes, compact discs & now digital media with a side dish of ring tones for kiddie phones. It’s been their bread & butter for many years. Well, the music industry is about to go on Atkins & find that their bread & butter is off limits. No longer will I buy a song more than once. I will not buy it if it requires an internet connection. I will not buy it if doesn’t play FOREVER. Their whole system is going under & their ain’t enough 14 year olds lusting after yesterdays jail bait with quantized perfect pitch who happen to have $20 to shell out for 2 bad songs and 7 horrible ones. They’d rather just watch the video’s with the sound muted anyway. Wait, can you still see music videos? Sure! Pirates have uploaded all of the classics to YouTube! MTV? Owned by a media conglomerate – don’t bother. Last year some engineer accidentally played a Girls Gone Wild tape instead of the MTV Video Music Awards and nobody noticed the difference. You can still go to one of the online video sites, but there’s no videos for me to view… they’re all tied exclusively to Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. I use Firefox as my browser. Now why would they have done a thing like that? Perhaps because Microsoft sells licences to a digital rights management scheme. In other words, they own your music. In 10 years it wont matter what medium your music is stored… whoever controls the codec owns the music. Hear that Music Labels? You’re about to get your asses owned by Microsoft. Resistance is, of course, futile.

In the mean time, download all the stuff you can “illegally” then send the artist $5 or $10 with a note saying how much you really enjoyed it. Listen to independent stuff, buy used CDs & for god sakes, take down the Britney poster… have some dignity, man!

Ok, I’m about done rambling here. I’m going to share some music now.

Weird Al Yankovic urges you: DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS SONG!
MC Lars urges you: DOWNLOAD THIS SONG!