It has been a while since I shared the contents of my “Other Eric Dalton’s” spam folder. Much of it really isn’t spam and the past few weeks has seen a few real gems. Names, excepting mine, have been changed to protect the errant!
Of course, I continue to get invoices and quotes intended for E.D. of South Africa. Everything from industrial vacuums to boxes of paper to… Grease Nipples!
My namesake in Minneapolis is invited annually to a CBS Sports March Madness pool. As best I can tell… he has never won the pool… possibly because it is my address getting the invite? Phoenix Arizona E.D. was busy too… with a different kind of pool. He got a quote from North Star Pools for cleaning out and repairing his swimming pool. He’s one of the worst for giving my address to marketers. It is nice to finally pinpoint a location. Now that I have his address I’ll send him a post card when I’m visiting. Over the years he is probably responsible for:
North Star Pools (March 2017)
Desert Schools Federal Credit Union (March 2017)
P.F. Chang’s (February 2017)
Hughes Federal Credit Union (October 2015)
PetSmart (March 2015)
University of Phoenix (April Fools 2011)
But my FAVORITE of the week was this gem from my friends in Virginia:
I have no words to describe my feelings about this email. Until next time, stay classy!
Happy Vets Day!
I love animals as much as the next guy, but I’m surprised they give a whole day to their medical professionals instead of those who fought in our wars. But I digress…
Today I was alerted by my magical inbox that Mr. Eric Dalton had registered a hotel room in Anaheim for 4 adults and two kids under twelve at the Travelodge on Disneyland Drive. A room there is only $89.99 a night and includes a continental breakfast for you and ENDLESS SPAM FOR ME FROM THE HELL TORMENTED GHOST OF WALTER ELIAS DISNEY!
Thanks for using my email address dude. If you do it again I’m calling the hotel and canceling the reservation. Maybe I’ll move it up a day so you still get charged. Too bad you wont know because the confirmation will be in my inbox. I’m sure you’ll have fun explaining it to the children and the other couple. Buahahahaha!
But seriously, every week someone signs me up for something new. There’s really nothing I can do about it beside grouse here. I guess I could cyberstalk the other Eric Dalton’s via the interwebs and waste much more time than I would have just cleaning out my inbox. Instead, I’ll try to see the humor in it and try to be funny. Maybe eventually one of them will reply and we can laugh about it. Hopefully they’ll use their real email address when they reply. Buahahahahahahahaha!
EDIT: I waited to publish this until after their stay then forgot it about for another month but I’m leaving the original publishing date so I don’t lose the Vets Day joke. Bua. Um, Ha.
Back in the early days of the world a friend of mine sent me an invitation to sign up with Google’s brand new email system. I jumped at the opportunity and was surprised when my Ericles moniker was already taken. Unperturbed, I used Eric.Dalton since I already had the entire Ericles domain.
Well, it seems that other blokes sharing my name don’t want to use their own personal email address so they give out mine freely. This makes little sense to me. Do they think Toyota, RedBox, or Apple is going to have their feelings hurt when they realize you used “firstname.lastname@example.org”? Only Mr. B. Ogus has anything to complain about when you use that address. Or is it S. Bogu? But I digress…
Some of the uses of my address are comical and some are sad. I’m sure many are by accident like forgetting a middle initial or not knowing if Eric is with a C or K. Regardless, I’ll be sharing these minor transgressions under this new category and then sharing that category on EricDalton.com which I’ve neglected to do anything with for a number of years. I’m finding that by doing a little research I’m able to find out quite a bit about the senders and receivers. Let the fun begin!
The first one goes back to March of 2008 when Shelley Brady of the Carolina Garden Company out of Raleigh, NC sent me 9 pictures (in 9 separate emails) of random landscaping that she found interesting enough to share. They had different names – either “Scott and Kelly” or “Importation Pictures” or just the default file name from a Panasonic digital camera. The pictures were of businesses, retirement homes and random front yards. I didn’t bother to respond. What I wish I had done was reply “Thanks. I’ll take #8.” and just wait for the fun to start. Hopefully Shelley eventually tracked down the right email address and made a sale. Hopefully Mr. Dalton learned that if you want to see the pictures the landscaper sends… you have to give them a valid email address that you own.